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| Feb 09, 2007 4:26 pm |
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re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Ad critique thread... |
| Althea Garner
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Hi Marla,
I agree with DeAnna in that you could use more white space and more headings to punctuate your ad. This, because with an ad that long, most people are inclined to 'skim' or surface read.
Now, if you were to ask Denise Michaels about your ad, she would say "If the reader is interested in the topic, no ad is too long - but if they are not interested, it can't be too short!"
So, what I am saying is that although your ad is long, this is not necessarily a bad thing!
I think what grabbed me the most was the thought of toxins entering my body through my skin! EEeeeeew! This makes sense especially since you mention the nicotine and birth control patch! I also liked your use of bullet points.
Also, with the cosmetic changes to your copy (which we KNOW is difficult on a Ryze post), your ad would carry that much more punch! We, as Ryze readers, just have to imagine where those cosmetic enhancements would be!
Try using the 'pull' method, rather than the 'push' method - in other words, instead of just stating facts, throw in a couple of questions that the reader will stop and say 'Wow, yes... that's me!" to GRAB your reader and make sure that they read on. Usually we do this in the headings, so that they will read the next paragraph.
So, in all, I thought it was a great ad - good job!
:)
ALTHEA GARNER (Star Real Estate)
Realtor
http://www.altheagarner.com
http://www.OCstaarz.com
Search over 38,000 homes at my web site: http://www.OCSTAARZ.COM
___________________________________________
Remember... I am NEVER too busy for your referrals!
Private Reply to Althea Garner (new win) |
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