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| Dec 09, 2006 2:08 am |
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re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Ad critique thread... |
| Althea Garner
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OK, Glenn..... you're not going to like me for this!
Firstly, there is absolutely nothing that compels me to read this ad! No alluring headlines, no CAPITALS in headings to catch my attention and nothing in the content to grab me!
I understand that you are excited about your product but the object of this exercise is to get ME excited - and I am not!
Secondly, pay attention to punctuation. Use of commas instead of periods, capitals where none are needed and no capitals where one should be used, causes the reader to halt, where they should be flowing to your next point.
I do like how you mention the benefit to the consumer - this is good but you can make more of this technique.
I understand that any normal ad would have color, images etc and I have accounted for that, but try to create more of a visual - the reader should be able to PICTURE what they would look like after taking your products and this should compel them to immediately pick up the phone and place an order!
Speaking of which, you have no call to action (click here or call now!) - don't expect your reader to assume that they should click on your links..... they need to be TOLD what to do! CALL NOW! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? ARE YOU AGING PREMATURELY? SEE THOSE LITTLE LINES CREEPING IN UNDER YOUR EYES? These are all statements that your reader will respond to - then tell them what to do.... HAVE YOU PLACED YOUR ORDER YET? CALL NOW!
Also, create a little scarcity ~ THIS SPECIAL OFFER CLOSES ON [date]! Scarcity will have customers beating down your door!
Oh, one last thing..... I wouldn't mix the photographic with the health - it's like chalk and cheese, which causes the reader to go 'oh... they can't make up their minds what product to promote - uh, I guess I won't buy either!'
To use Denise Michaels saying: A confused mind ALWAYS says 'No'! Pick your product category and go with that.
OK..... I'm ducking the tomatoes, now?
Wanna try again?
:)
ALTHEA GARNER (Star Real Estate)
Realtor
http://www.altheagarner.com
http://www.OCstaarz.com
Search over 38,000 homes at my web site: http://www.OCSTAARZ.COM
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Remember... I am NEVER too busy for your referrals!
Private Reply to Althea Garner (new win) |
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